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Voicemails

Lloyd believes that voicemail--greetings and messages--is an artistic canvas. This page is evidence that he is not alone. This page features mostly messages left for Lloyd--some are intentional performances, and some are just funny. Also featured are a few greetings by Lloyd.
  1. (Winks) Overdue Playboy videos


  2. (Certified Rentals) Dumping the metal bin


  3. (Certified Rentals) Dude, what the hell is a metal bin?


  4. (Sav) Your tool set came in


  5. (Jer) Shabazz Jenkins


  6. (Jer) Sergio & Shabazz


  7. (Matt) Nowhere to run to


  8. (Sav) Hos 'n' Bitches


  9. (Sav) The Manure Package Deal


  10. (Sav) Studs 'n' Chawches


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  11. (Matt) Nothing funny about this message


  12. (Pat Riopel) I don't know who the hell this woman thinks she's talking to


  13. (Pat Riopel, again) I also don't know who this woman is, or what she's talking about, or who the @#$% Ed Adams is


  14. ("The System") Another choice wrong number, demonstrating the effectiveness of whatever they have going on there


  15. (Matt) Call from... Enrique, the psycho monkey


  16. (Matt) An expensive call from the psychic hotline


  17. (Jer) Jer being Jer


  18. (Jer) Jer's heartfelt invitation to play hockey


  19. (Matt) Matt's enthusiastic invitation to play hockey


  20. (Jer) Jer being even more Jer


    21. [top]

  21. (Jer) A very rapid explanation by Jer


  22. (Jer) Jer hockey-mackin'


  23. (Jer) Shabazz Jenkins karaoke-mackin'


  24. (Jer) Farmerboy lookin' for a friend


  25. (Jer) Porcine Ops


  26. (Jer) Shabazz Jenkins wants a coffee date


  27. (Jer) Some French guy looking for the director of "The Fifth Element"


  28. (Lloyd) At one time, this was the greeting on the cell phone that Lloyd used to have


  29. (Chris T.) Chris, being his usual diplomatically detailed self, gives Lloyd a tip about the cell greeting


  30. (Jon) Jon, faced with the cell greeting, fails to "rise" to the occasion.


    31. [top]

  31. (Lloyd) Lloyd, faced with Jon's disappointing performance, throws in the towel and changes his greeting to something more conventional


  32. (Sav) The ladykiller rap


  33. (Matt) One of Lloyd's more zealous fans


  34. (Lloyd) As few could relate to the joie-de-vivre exuded by his new cell greeting, Lloyd felt obligated to once again change the greeting, remaining, as always, true to the way he felt


  35. (Matt) The Tree-Gods get very, very confused by basic communications technology


  36. (Jer) Jer shamelessly shows off his amazing level of talent, combining his gift of perfect pitch with his stunning improvisational ability


  37. (Matt) In a blatant attempt to resuscitate their prehistoric career, Pink Floyd cover Babe Lloyd


  38. (Matt) Matt practising his dull, semi-conscious cool voice, and failing


  39. (Matt) Matt plays the blues because he can't play a harmonica


  40. (Matt) Matt inviting Lloyd to go to the beach and play something classy and dignified


    41. [top]

  41. (Matt) Matt replies to another one of Lloyd's cell phone greetings in which Lloyd says that people who don't leave a message frustrate him


  42. (Sav) A representative of "Be Real Productions" calls Lloyd to inform him that he is being considered as a possible member for the organization's board of executives


  43. (Sav) Knowing that Lloyd is a huge fan, Thin Lizzy calls Lloyd and leaves a personalized verison of "Jailbreak" on his voicemail


  44. (Matt, Al, Johnny Talent, & Co.) Lloyd pays cash to be appreciated


  45. (Jer) Jer suffers a recessive breakdown


  46. (Barb) Lloyd's most educated friend shows her emotional side


  47. (Matt) Matt makes fun of Lloyd because the previous night Lloyd had gotten very drunk and had called Matt tell him all about it


  48. (Matt) Matt makes fun of Lloyd because that afternoon Matt had called Lloyd and Lloyd had answered in bed with a hangover


  49. (Sav) Sav comes home drunk and calls Lloyd because the previous night Lloyd had gotten very drunk and had called Sav tell him all about it


  50. (Matt) Matt has a very interesting business proposition for Lloyd, apparently


    51. [top]

  51. (Matt) Lloyd's arch-nemesis Theo, who reads Lloyd's column in the St. Albert Gazette and who can't figure out how to use voicemail, has been thwarted again by Lloyd's cunning elusive tactics, apparently


  52. (Matt)You know how, when you have a cell phone, people always expect to be able to talk you, and then they get pissed off when you don't answer your cell? Matt suffers from that here.


  53. (Matt) Matt, clearly upset that Lloyd declined to play volleyball at that moment, comes up with an inventive epithet for Lloyd. He also once again demonstrates his lack of comprehension when it comes to voicemail usage


  54. (Sav) Sav giving his take on most of the customers he deals with on a daily basis


  55. (Sav) Another joke of the day brought to Lloyd by the guys at Comedy Hour


  56. (Matt) Matt being very, very Matt


  57. (Matt) Matt playing with his ham radio and his multiple personalities


  58. (Matt) Matt expounding on the virtues of naturism


  59. (Dre) Dre hitting the Freud pretty hard


  60. (Matt) Matt apologizing for not showing up when he said he would to drive Lloyd to the airport


    61. [top]

  61. (Sav) Lloyd's long-lost cousin Arnold wants his tricycle back because he can't get to work


  62. (Sav) Lloyd's neighbour is ready to roll Lloyd for stealing his daughter's pokemon cards


  63. (Barb) The educated friend strikes again, in Russian


  64. (Sav) Lloyd's doppelganger is caught trying to win pizzas on the radio


  65. (Sav) Now we know how Sav eats his chicken


  66. (Sav) A personalized telephone infomercial about the many uses of a spoon


  67. (Matt) John Lennon swears at Lloyd from the grave


  68. (Sav) An a capella version of Mental House's "Love Load" sung specifically for Lloyd on his voicemail


  69. (Sav) The theme song for the superhero "Hinro"


  70. (Sav) A radio interview with the band "Mental House"


    71. [top]

  71. (Sav) The theme from "Hinro Returns"


  72. (Sav) The theme from "Hinro's Revenge"


  73. (Sav) The theme from "Hinro's Dead". Lloyd's favourite Hinro theme. Listen for Lloyd's laugh as he's transferring the voicemail to tape


  74. (Sav) The theme from "The Resurrection of Hinro"


  75. (Sav) The theme from "Naw, Hinro's Really Dead"


  76. (Sav) The theme from "Hinro Vs. Jaynar"


  77. (Sav) Sav using his musical talent to cheer Lloyd because Lloyd is working on an assembly line putting together TV guides


  78. (Sav) Spurred by the success of "Seven Till Four", Sav went on to create a series of "Work Anthem" songs, because Lloyd's glamourous work history was so badly in need of documentation.


  79. (Sav) Work Anthem #2


  80. (Sav) Work Anthem #3


    81. [top]

  81. (Jer) Jer's idea of a good game show while bored at work. Scores another laugh from Lloyd at the end


  82. (Sav) Sav pontificating on pump


  83. (Sav) Sav blurs the line between fantasy and jaynality


  84. (Corinna) Hey, is she teasing Lloyd?


  85. (Lloyd) Lloyd not yet having found his musical centre


  86. (Sav) Sav, hearing this off-kilter voicemail greeting, sets Lloyd straight


  87. (Al) Al covering Homer


  88. (Jer) That Mario sure is a card


  89. (Matt) Matt at medication time


  90. (Barb) "The Most Educated Girl in Town" discusses the looming threat of technology as a result of being unable to reach Lloyd


  91. (Matt and Johnny Talent) Two angry thugs telling Lloyd where to go and when to go there


  92. (Cherry Sparkles) It doesn't take much to impress this chick, apparently


  93. (Katarina) Once again, Lloyd changes his voicemail greeting. This time, though, he hires an actress
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