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Lyrics Warning: lyrics may contain language that some consider expletive.
All I Want is Sex (from Survival of the Prettiest) I can't think, and I can't sleep I can't dance, and I can't eat Cuz all I want is sex All I'm thinkin' about these days is sex I can't play, and I can't talk I can't work, and I can’t walk Cuz all I want is sex All I'm thinkin' about these days is sex I've never been a slimeball, I've never been a creep But now my life is falling apart cuz I can't any sleep Cuz all I want is sex All I'm thinkin' about these days is sex People at school or at a bar Sex in a bed, sex in a car Sex with my boss, sex with my friends No matter who I don't care how it ends It's been way too long since I had sex It's a human right to have sex... I'm calling the UN I've never had a one track mind, I've never been a slut I've always been a gentleman, but now all I can think about is butt All my body wants is sex I've got no control, all I want is sex I won't think any less of anyone who gives me sex Cuz I've got a problem, all I want is sex I'm sorry I just cannot function anymore, all I want is sex Let's get this out in the open, all I want is sex I wish it weren't like this, but all I want is sex [top] Big Whores (from Live at Queen Alex Hall) Oh, how I wish I could be one of this generation's big whores I'd write a song cleverly disguised to not sound like it was written for a software company Maybe the current target market for advertising for brand-new automobiles would be familiar with my work And I would get paid to do the things that I stay home and do anyway in my spare time With the unimportant exception that I'd hate myself and probably commit suicide I'd be a savvy young kid jumping on the gravy train riding through the hills of the United States of Advertainment And I'd have no friends apart from other sell-out losers who also have no friends History books of music would remember me as absolutely nothing But I would get paid to do the things that I stay home and do anyway in my spare time With the unimportant exception that my songs would suck and no one respect me I'm just a naive hippie living in an idealistic fantasy Some day I'll have to grow up, cut my hair, and face the music Like yuppie capitalist baby-boomer dinosaurs Living off of their '80s Reagan-era, rape-the-land money Driving in SUVs, listening to Jimi Hendirx, Janis Joplin, Bob Dylan, John Lennon And Mr. Mojo Risin' I'd settle for a big house in the suburbs, contributing to urban sprawl, proud of my career in dentistry I'm easy to please. I don't read non-fiction. I don't like to rock the boat. It's all good as long as... ...I'm getting paid, which would demonstrate I'm a good guy, a productive, responsible member of society Oiling up the economy, cheering on the war machine, while watching TV Boy Band (from Survival of the Prettiest) All I ever wanted All I wished I had Was to be a member Of a well-groomed boy band I would look so cute Wearing my tight jeans My blond spiky hair In my left ear, one earring Boy band! Ch-ching! Hi Wayne. Targeting a pre-teen Demographic market Taking their allowance And messing with their heads They could pick their favourite Like the ninja turtles I would be the wild one With a little facial hair Boy band! Ch-ching! Hi Wayne. One day a cute boy will sweep me off my feet He will wear the right clothes, he'll be so sweet And the way for a pre-teen girl like me to snag that boy Is to dress like a slut Boy Band! We would have to compete With other cute boy bands We'd pretend to be friends In public we'd shake their hands We won't write our own songs We won't even sing We will have our faces In those trashy magazines Boy band! Ch-ching! Hi Wayne. [top] Broken (from Live at Queen Alex Hall) I got a broken heart, yeah, I got a broken heart. I got a broken heart, yeah, yeah. I got a broken faith, yeah, I got a broken faith. I got a broken faith, yeah, yeah. Surrounded by fools, I'm dismissed as a fool Beauty is in the eye of the behold her Humans are the worst investors, always insisting on investing in each other I got a broken soul, yeah, I got a broken soul. I got a broken soul, yeah, yeah. I got a broken will, yeah, I got a broken will. I got a broken will, yeah, yeah. By stealing the treasure of my heart, he showed me she was never a treasure at all Hope is a door to the soul that must be shut when the breeze is too cold Dispel the illusion to find there's nothing else Listen to everybody who sounds like yourself I got a broken mind, yeah, I got a broken mind. I got a broken mind, yeah, yeah. I'm from a broken home, yeah, from a broken home. We're all from a broken home, yeah, yeah. I'm not depressed, I'm just upset that the world is the way it is, and not the way that it should be Friendship is a rock, true love is crystal I hate being a pessimist I got a broken heart, yeah, yeah, yeeeaahh This has gone too far, yeah, yeah, yeeeaahh [top] The Bully (from Adora Ajara) Can anyone stop the bully? I know he's big and tough Can anyone stick their neck out? Has anyone had enough? Does anyone hate the bully? I know he wears nice clothes Can anyone go their own way and stop following where he goes? He's not just pushing you around He hit your friend too You can't just stay out of his way He's laying for you Can anyone see the bully? He's out there robbing banks Our undefended border may soon be lined with tanks His appetite's voracious He's eaten all that's there He's coming for a water, our trees, and our fresh air I know that things seem pretty good and I'm causing a fuss But once he robs everyone else Who'll stand up for us? There's got to be at least ten times as many of us So why can't we do something about his justice? Well, if we are all too godammned pussy To trip him and slam his face to the ground At least we can stop giving him all our...our...our...our...our money Can anyone see the bully, he's buying up our land He's giving us commercials, the stars, and sleight of hand Smiling, winking, cheating We believe it all He's showing us the great view Promising us we won't fall I know that he's our biggest friend At least that's what he said Funny how all of his friends End up missing or dead There's got to be at least ten times as many of us [top] Da Cops (from Survival of the Prettiest) Da Cops lyrics to come...eventually [top] Days of Darkness (from Adora Ajara) Well I finally knocked the monkey off my back And now he's hangin' by his tail... from my neck I can't breathe So I lean on you, I hang on you, I push you to the limits of what you'll do Because I know you won't crack, you won't look back, you supplement me with everything I lack Cuz I'm walking on my hands across the sand of this great land And there's one thing I won't forget, and that is how we met Well I finally found my smile in my shoe But I can't stand on one foot to show you I can't see So I lean on you, I hang on you, I push you to the limits of what you'll do Because I know you won't crack, you won't look back, you supplement me with everything I lack Cuz I'm walking on my hands across the sand of this great land And there's one thing I won't forget, and that is how we met All the clouds are moving like pieces in a puzzle Laughing unbeliveably heartless Dancing to all the sensible nonsense Blinding me in these days of darkness Well I finally found the key to the shades That the TV made me wear night and day Now I see So I look at you, I smile at you, cuz you pushed me to the limits of what I'll do And now I know I won't crack, I won't look back, I'm on the road to findin' everything I lack And I'm waving with my hands across the sand of this great land And there's one thing I won't forget, and that is why we met ...yeah [top] Dream Again (from Adora Ajara) Saw a cloud floating up above and made a cloud formation out of it Heard you singing in a tree and made the song out to be just for me It was a dream... just dream Heard a whisper in my ear and found an angel here to soothe my fear Felt a feather on my skin that told me it's okay to take it in But I learned... when I got burned As bad as this gets I will dream again As bad as this gets I will laugh again As bad as this gets I will hope again As bad as this gets… as bad as this gets... I will live again I know that all the things I saw Were never really there at all Still I will always be sure Not one of these tears is my fault White sheet fitting like a glove blemished only by a stain of love Bathed in you to get clean only to learn what clean really means No one will ever not let me down (x4) As bad as this gets I will dream again As bad as this gets I will laugh again As bad as this gets I will hope again As bad as this gets... as bad as this gets... I will live again [top] Fuck You (from Survival of the Prettiest) If I wrote a column in a newspaper and someone wrote a letter to the editor to say my writing sucks, I would not get upset, I'd smile and be flattered that someone as important as that would spend their time on me. If I wrote some music and someone told me that it sucks, told me how they could write a better song than me, I would not get upset, cuz people who know anything about writing music would never act like that. This is my fuck you This is my middle finger This is my fuck you, yes you This is my joke about your girlfriend If I was in a class with someone who always asked really dumb stupid-ass questions all the time, I would not get upset, I'd smile and chew on my pen, knowing that people like that drop the average If I met someone who totally lacked social skills, cut me down while constantly talking politics, I would not get upset, I'd smile and laugh to myself, knowing that people like that never get any This is my fuck you This is my middle finger This is my fuck you, yes you This is my joke about your mama If I was driving and got stuck beside some stupid jock who speeds up and cuts me off to porve he's got a big cock, I would not get upset cuz people who drive like that help to fill the policeman's speeding ticket quota If I saw someone that I don't know do something that I don't necessarily agree with, I would not get upset, I'd look away and shake my head, knowing that I am right and just get on with life This is my fuck you This is my middle finger This is my fuck you, yes you Were your parents related? Fuck you-oo-oo [top] Gerbil (from Survival of the Prettiest) I'm so glad to have met you I bet there's a future for us We'll make each other so happy Then you'll stab me and leave me to die I'm having trouble deciding What it is about me that makes People think I'm the cat's pyjamas Then stab me and leave me to die For my birthday my girlfriend bought me a human-sized hamster wheel, to watch me run in. For my birthday another girlfriend bought a human-sized feeder bar, to watch me push those goddamn useless buttons Rodent, I'm not a rodent. Rodent, am I a rodent? Maybe you will love me and leave me Maybe you'll love my girl instead So many exciting different ways To stab me and leave me to die I'm looking forward to sleeping Maybe I will have a happy dream You'll fall in love with my musical talents And not stab me and leave me to die Happy anniversary honey, I'll forget to feed you. Flush you down the toilet. Happy anniversary, darling, I'll leave out of your cage. Feline babysitter. Rodent, I'm not a rodent. Rodent, am I a rodent? I'm thinking of buying a gerbil Their paws are very, very small They could never grasp a knife To stab me and leave me to die [top] Haircut Monkey (from Survival of the Prettiest) Inflatable guerilla advertising strategy Postmodern juxtaposing grooming habits jungle fauna Scare you into cosmetic alteration. If you don't cut your hair, my gorilla will rip your arms off. Discount balloon at the auction. My brother's fan, industrial Sign of the times, what the fuck? Small children flee haircuts for free Scare you into cosmetic alteration. If you don't cut your hair, my gorilla will rip your arms off. Can you say you've seen it anywhere else? Can you say that you'll forget about us? Maybe you want to shoot it with a pellet gun But when you want your hair cut, you'll come to us Idea from watching tv when the wind blows very freaky been there for years landmark fixture turn right at the haircut monkey Scare you into cosmetic alteration. If you don't cut your hair, my gorilla will rip your arms off. Come on into my haircut menagerie. Take a photo, you know it's not a drug front. [top] The Hands That Ruin Me (from Adora Ajara) I was barely able to walk up the stairs. I was out of breath. Hopelessly tired and hopelessly wanting more... two hungers at once. Too much. Too much. I remember your hands, and their softness, and their poetry Made me want to stay in the car all night. God, I love your hands. Too much. Too much. I want to kiss you as you read over coffee. I don't know. You are so beautiful. I'm going to miss you sooooooo much. I wanted to dance for you this evening. I tried so hard to keep myself in check. Wishing I didn't have to. That's why I want to go Dancing some beautiful place with you before you go. Too much. Too much. Wish I could / feel those hands / of yours / right now... all night long. "Those are the hands that ruin me," she said, speaking for two. Do what you're longing to do to me before I do it to you. You've felt the winds that blew in me. You've seen me at my best. Why can't you be doing me? I'm such a desirous mess. Too much. Not enough. [top] Identity Crisis (from Live at Queen Alex Hall) Identity crisis baby Identity crisis baby A ward of the market, different companies have tatooed every part of her baby flesh She don't know who she is but she is sure of who she's not Generic food makes her spit up Identity crisis pre-teen Identity crisis pre-teen Gender is an issue revised in the last issue Pop culture determines friendship The makeup that she wears has her confused about sex Silence makes her anxious You are what you eat You are what you wear You are what you drink You are what you drive You are what you watch You are not what you think Identity crisis twenty-something Identity crisis twenty-something A year off to travel the western Europe theme park Come home ready to settle for Education can fulfill your dreams of an RSP Your PT cruiser's unique like everyone's Play your cards right And everything will be easy Isn't that the point? Mid-life crisis Mid-life crisis Suddenly your life is two-facing mirrors Thirty years on each side the same Learned enough to know that you're not sure of anything Panic gives birth to a jeep Beach volleyball Too much alcohol Beach volleyball Infidelity Beach volleyball Too much alcohol Beach volleyball Divorce You are what you eat You are what you wear You are what you drink You are what you drive You are what you watch You are not what you think Identity crisis senior Identity crisis senior Bitter because nothing fun ever came his way Takes it out on skateboarders The easy path left him with nothing of his own Dies alone and it is not beautiful You are what you eat You are what you wear You are what you drink You are what you drive You are what you watch You are not what you think You are not what you think You are not what you think [top] I Don't Wanna Buy Your Shit (from Survival of the Prettiest) My shitty basement suite is clean enough without you Mr. Clean It's amazing how strong that paper towel is but who cares? If I buy that toilet paper does it come with fuzzy white kittens? Fuzzy white kittens I might buy that toilet paper if you stop calling it bathroom tissue Actually, no I won't Cuz I don't wanna buy your shit I don't wanna buy that crap Stuff it up your ass you stupid capitalist pigs I don't wanna buy your shit Throw the tv in the trash Throw it out the window and hope it lands on one of you capitalist pigs My life is complete enough without going to see the latest Tom Cruise film I hope no one beats me up for not wearing the clothes those overpaid schizophrenics wear If I collect all the merchandise of your dumb movie will the girls at school talk to me? I might buy the merchandise cross-advertised at the fast-food joint Actually no I won't I don't wanna see your flick I don't wanna watch that crap Stuff it up your ass you stupid capitalist pigs I don't wanna see your flick I would rather read a book Go for a walk or sing a song about you stupid capitalist pigs [insert random bad things] My style is swank enough without getting a load of Britney's pears It's amazing that 'N Sink wrote the lyrics to their latest crap I can't believe you've never heard of Matchbox 20 Considering how bad they suck You can like your world music but if you don't like the Matthew Good Band Then you're not Canadian I don't wanna hear your tunes I don't wanna hear that crap Stuff up your ass you capitalist pigs I don't wanna hear your tunes I would rather drink some lead Or listen to something like this: Aaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrgggggggggggthththththththbbbbbbbbbbbbbbtttttttttttttgghhhhhh You stupid capitalist pigs La la laaaaaa [top] Leaning on your grave (from Live at Queen Alex Hall) Another couple passes by Another strange look But I'm just waiting till I die So I can join you Everyone 'round here know the guy Who never leaves They ask me questions while I lie Here above you You're near a tree that shelters me From the sun and its rays When you were with me I leaned on you Now I'm leaning on your grave One they were speaking of moving me To a safer place But I know you love it when I lay on you And hold your face You're near a tree that shelters me From the sun and its rays When you were with me I leaned on you Now I'm leaning on your grave I may be sick, I know I'm dying I'm already dead That's why I'm here, laid out face down Grey skies have turned red Just like always, I'll be near, to keep you warm on cold days My honey lover, my treasured angel, I'm here forever to keep you safe This isn't romance, no fairy tale This is undeath The moment I'm not right beside you Will be my last breath I may be dirty, I may be cold But I'm not leaving Against this warm stone nobody knows What I am seeing You're near a tree that shelters me From the sun and its rays When you were with me I leaned on you Now I'm leaning on your grave I may be sick, I know I'm dying I'm already dead That's why I'm here, among these stones Grey skies have turned red You're near a tree that shelters me From the sun and its rays When you were with me I leaned on you Now I'm leaning on your grave I'm leaning on your grave I'm here holding your face I'm leaning on your grave I'm still holding your face I'm leaning... [top] Low Speed Chase (from Survival of the Prettiest) I'm driving in my car With my muchachos We're scoping da fine honies Got the bass booming The windows tinted We can't see or hear shit See a sweet chiquita Pull in for a close-up Of a little sweet bunny They're laughing and they're pointing They must be loco Look in my rear-view and find the po-po It was a low speed chase I didn't mean to race We shoulda turned down the bass Why didn't you turn down the bass I told you to turn down the bass Now we got to save face Cuz you're such a space case I TOLD YOU TO TURN DOWN THE BASS!!! Low speed chase I'm riding on my bike With my muchachos Looking for a car to steal Some hippie freak Forgot his keys Door is unlocked, we're on our way Our bikes are good But we ditched 'em For this shitty Impala Cruisin' down the hill Po-po's on our ass Pedal to the metal, goin' twenty Another low speed chase This shitty car cannot race We ditched our bikes, they were ace Now I want my bike back Some punk probly took it I'll bust his face I TOLD YOU TO TURN DOWN THE BASS!!! WHY'D WE DITCH OUR FUCKING BIKES??? Low Speed Chase I'm at the bar With no muchachos Car and my bike impounded Telling the bartender About my woes He says "You got to go, we're closed" Buy some off-sales Piss on the corner Po-po see me get on the bus Po-po behind the bus I drop my beer No one better pull that fucking string Someone pulls the string The bus stops, po-po get on Bust out the back door, fall on my face It was a no speed chase Because I fell on my face And someone sprayed me with mace I shoulda picked up the pace I dropped my beer, what a waste I broke the whole fucking case And I pissed on my shoelace I'm such a disgrace I TOLD YOU TO TURN DOWN THE BASS!!! WHY WE DITCH OUR FUCKING BIKES??? I TOLD YOU NOT TO PULL THAT LITTLE STRING!!! Low Speed Chase [top] Lucifer's Son (from Live at Queen Alex Hall) I fought it My love, I fought it I tried so hard to stay in the light I tried so hard to stay in the light I couldn't Father, I couldn't The pain was intense in that bright white The pain was intense in that bright white I wanted Sisters, I wanted To take your hands and rise above all this To take your hands and rise above all this I knew it My Lord, I knew it I thought it was my fault but now I know I thought it was my fault but now I know I am Lucifer's son The bird that cleans the world I'm heir to the throne Of those meant to walk alone I tried it My word, I tried it I saw the wrong but I could not right it I saw the wrong that I could not right Accept it I will accept it Now I know exactly what I am Zola, I know now what I am I am the lovely vampire The slow power of decay And the incomparably quick reflexes of a parnoid in the dark Everyone is good at something I'll use it That's right, I'll use it Without dark there is no need for heroes Without dark there is no need for light The balance I give the balance Much maligned but necessary evil Try to have a world without me I am Lucifer's son The bird that cleans the world I'm heir to the throne Of those meant to walk alone I am the lovely vampire The slow power of decay And the incomparably quick reflexes of a parnoid in the dark Everyone is good at something Don't ask where my talents lie Why is feeling old feeling bad? [top] Next Time (from Adora Ajara) I think that I've fallen in another trap I think that I've fallen in another trap Next time I hear a voice as sexy as that I'm turning back I think that I've chained myself down once more I think that I've tied myself up once more Next time I meet a soul as charming as yours I'll lock the door I walk around with the sweet taste on my lips Of the cold fruit that I just ate Forget the burning and the insects stuckto me Decadent I reach for more the same Maybe one day, pray for me, I will be sane I think that my foot's in my mouth again Humiliated myself again Next time I feel words like that deep within I won't begin I think that I've given too much today I think that I've taken too much today Next time I see a gift coming my way I will not stay I fly around trying to avoid the light Still I'm drawn to you like moth to flame Forget the learning and the brusies I can't shake Stupid I expect more than a game Maybe one day, pray for me, I will escape I think that I've fallen in another trap I think that I've been caught in another trap Next time I see an angel look at me like that I'm turning back [top] Not Family (from Survival of the Prettiest) You wouldn't have to lock your door You wouldn't worry anymore I wouldn't have to see you cry Once we said goodbye to him He is not family You call this family? You wouldn't have to take the blame You wouldn't have to bear the shame I wouldn't have to take this flack Once we turned our backs to him He is not family You call that family? No, I won't be nice, this blood's cold as ice I'm not gonna fake it, I don't have to take it Used to raise an eyebrow, now I'll raise my fist Yeah you just push me, you don't want me pissed You wouldn't ever let him go Although he hurts us so I wouldn't ever show him love That's something he's just not worthy of He is not family You call that family? [top] Now I Know (from Survival of the Prettiest) Now I know I’m scared of dying You believe I’m sick of frying Now the past and now are one Mixing to kill my future I’ve never been this scared Thank god that you were there I’ll just sit here by your chair Rocking back and forth Trying not to fall into The rip in my head I’ve never been this scared Thank god that you were there It wasn’t supposed to be like this No one said it would be like this You can’t tell me how you know That shortly I will be okay And if time should prove you wrong Then promise me I’ll be dead I’ve never been this scared Thank god that you were there If I had known it was like this Then I wouldn't be like this I can’t stop thinking about mom How can I help her when I’m numb? I couldn’t bear to leave her now I couldn’t bear to let her down I don’t think either of us knew That I still love you this much That’s okay cuz it’s a rare Love that can be lived with I’ve never been this scared Thank god that you were there If I had known it was like this Then I wouldn't be like this I can’t stop thinking about mom How can I help her when I’m numb? I couldn’t bear to leave her now I couldn’t bear to let her down Don’t let me be like this forever Don’t let me be like this forever Don’t let me be like this forever Kill me if I’m like this forever. [top] Old Meat (from Survival of the Prettiest) I tried to break up Took over six weeks You hated my buds Your friends are all freaks Why don't you get a clue? I don't wanna see you You're fuckin' psycho Ya got me scared "Let's fuck", I said no Are you hearing impaired? Why don't you get a clue? I don't wanna do you I know you thought I'm a jerk When I said "This ain't gonna work!" So you totally flipped out You just went fuckin' berzerk Watch out! I know you're hurtin' And you feel bad Don't make it cool To break into my pad Why don't you get a clue? I don't wanna sue you My job you're stalkin' "Do you hate my guts?" Get outta my face No ifs, no buts Why don't you get a clue? I am so sick of you Watch out! I know you're mentally ill And one day you'll be out to kill I wish you could just forget I wish you'd just learn to chill Restraining order Is out on you If you don't back off I'll flip out too Why don't you get a clue? I am so sick of you So a little piece of advice to all you out there, woman or man: even if they look as good as me, and even if they sound as good as . . . me, when they show the first sign of bein' PSYCHO, ...pack yer bags...pack yer bags...pack those bags...pack da bags! [top] Playin' (from Survival of the Prettiest) All the skin in movies and hot chicks at the club How can I take it and stay single for so long? Not naked in a bell tower with a rifle I've got a secret that some tell me is wrong I'm playin' sega Just playin' sega I'll never beg-a I'll just play sega My computer crashes cuz the hard drive's full I find the internet very useful Hot chicks think I'm constipated when I'm not I just take so long in the can cuz they're so hot Just playing sega I'm playing sega Ya got nice legs-a So I'm playing sega If this is self-pollution, baby, I'm the dump If you're too good to play sega, well, that's your problem, chump Some guys insist that they don't but they're sega plus Personally, I don't understand the fuss Sure I play sega, and if you do too, Maybe I'll come over and play sega with you We're playing sega Just playing sega We'll never beg-a We'll just play sega Sega's always single and free of disease Sega can be satisfied with the greatest of ease Sega is the one friend that you know you'll never lose Sega don't get pregnant and never feels used. That's why I play sega I win at sega Don't take my sega Championship sega Sega when you're horny, or when there's nothing to do Did you know when I play sega, I often think about you I'm playing sega [top] Pleasure's in the Flesh (from Adora Ajara) Tired of all the yip-yapping Billboard sickness in my face, nowhere I can gaze Want to head back, land of milk from my honey Rocking motion just for me, lulling me to sleep Drove the straight lines of the highway Nothing to grab onto there, I could not stay awake My boat's on the ocean, riding heady waves Swelling ripples I reach out for something that can shake Girls fall away, time for a woman A soft warm place that I can make my home Bone to pick with skeletons in the closet Pleasure's in the flesh that I can call my own Get so worked up, I cannot slow down Someone's got to put their foot down and get in my way With no insulation to break my fall Walls of plywood, bruised and brittle, both of us would break Girls fall away, time for a woman A soft warm place that I can make my home Bone to pick with skeletons in the closet Pleasure's in the flesh that I can call my own Mean darting eyes Insignificant size Clings to bony thighs See how hard she tries Try to get her to stay The wind blows her away She ain't got time of day Or all that much to say We're only going one time around Gotta let go and laugh from deep down Numbers are no way to measure When you take it off I wanna find myself drowning in a bountiful booty of treasure Posion the world to stay thin Cigarettes make the look Poison yourself to stay rich Do you want to see yourself everywhere you look? Laying in bed I don't wanna shiver Warm blanket wrapped around me, feel the rise and fall Holding your breath, you won't feel a thing You can keep your moderation, I want it all. [top] Porn Shop Regular (from Survival of the Prettiest) Every time you come in here You tell me your telephone number "993-038?"... Bring your card! Eight a.m., and again at ten Dirty sweats, cheap high-top sneakers and a farmer hat "That's okay, I don't a receipt" No shit He's a porn shop regular Video porn shop regular Ya know he'll never begular Cuz he's a porn shop regular Just stop flippin' the goddamn video boxes around After just three hours of searching, look what you found... The same video that ya rented yesterday. I hope it was a good one, cuz the video rental charge is a lot more than late fee. Trust me I work here. Although I'd rather not. I jsut got my Master of Arts degree. And the only job I could get this one. So now I got get up at 5:30 in the morning just to give you your 24-hour porn fix. So to keep myself awake, I go over the regulars' rental histories. Guess what man, you win the award for the most itneresting titles. Like the Loin King, The Jizzard of Oz, Edward Penishnads, Science Friction, and--my personal favourite--The Empire Strokes Black. And let me tell you something, man. This job is getting to me. Every single second I work at this job, there's one tought that keeps going through my head. And that thought is: "The urge is too much to take All I can think about is playing with myself It's time to masturbate I've got my Hustler and I don't need nothin' else" (from Mr. Bungle's "The Girls of Porn") [yeah solo] Porn! Hand it to you you for not being ashamed A man's got to do... I guess whatever it is that you do "That's okay, I don't need a receipt." No shit He's a porn shop regular Video porn shop regular A regular eggheadular He's a porn shop regular [top] So Long (from Adora Ajara) I’ve been awake for so long, now it’s time to let go I’ve done my best for so long, now it’s time to say no Don’t tell me I never tried I was there, and I cried Don’t ask me, my hands are tied I feel sick, please stop the ride I felt alone for so long, and I never knew why I held my breath for so long, with my eyes towards the sky Don’t tell me I never tried I was there, and I cried Don’t ask me, my hands are tied I feel sick, please stop the ride If it is so hard For you to stay alive Why should I go that far? Why should I even try? It’s been like this for so long, and there’s very few get free But there are people who are strong, people far better than me Don’t tell me I never tried I was there, and I cried Don’t ask me, my hands are tied I feel sick, please stop the ride [top] Taco One Dollar (from Survival of the Prettiest) We here at Joeie Tomato's know that you only want to have the finest pasta experience you've ever had. That's why we only serve you the freshest, reddest, juiciest, ripest, reddest, juiciest tomatoes we can find. And the highest quality pasta we can find this side of... well, wherever they have good pasta in Canada, it's not really known for its pasta. But we also know that you want to enjoy your pasta experience with a smile. That's why we always serve you with a smile and with the utmost expediency. And if you get lucky and you come during happy hour you can get a quickie in the bathroom with a server. But if our quickies aren't up to your standards... FUCK YOU. Taco one dollar! Howdy pardner! We here at Arbie's know that you only want to have the finest cow samich that you've ever had. That's why we fattie up our cows nice and gooood, on the finest quality steroid free hay we can find this side of Sa-Ska-Chew-Awn. Yeee-haaaw! We also know that maybe the plain old taste of dead and sliced and cooked cow isn't spicy enough for your tastebuds. Maybe you like a little extra mule kick to your samich! That's why we offer you the option of Arbie's special Horsie Sauce. Please don't ask the employees what's in the Horsie Sauce. They're legally bound to secrecy, know-what-I-mean? But if our special Arbie's Horsie Sauce isn't up to your standards... FUCK YOU. Taco one dollar! Pshhiooo, kshhioo, pow pow pow! Shhiooo. Eh, mon. We here at Taco Belle, we know that you no have very much mahney. That's why we offer you something to eat for not very much mahney. Canadian Standards Association say we no call it food, so we call it something-to-eat-for-not-very-much-mahney. We also know that when you eat your something-to-eat-for-not-very-much-mahney, you want to be looking at face of big ugly gorilla. Like, "Hennnhh!" And supporting cool Hollywood film with cool special effects, like "Wiihioo, wioo, pow pow pow!" and "Hennnhhh!" That's why we are pround to offer you our special Taco Belle Kongo Kombo... and it kinda rhymes too. But hey, if our special Taco Belle Kongo Kombo is not up to your standards... FAHTCHOO. Taco one dollar! [top] Tan Lines (from Live at Queen Alex Hall) Human rotisserie Cancer epidermis Tan lines I don't want no I don't want no I don't want no Wrinkly girl I don't want no I don't want no I don't want no Chemotherapy Sweat is diluted waste Fake tits give me nightmares Tan lines I don't want no I don't want no I don't want no Saggy girl I don't want no I don't want no I don't want no Chemotherapy Soft drink comemrcial on the beach Doesn't show split ends in the bleach Or the sand that gets stuck just out of reach Don't foget that sunstroke fuckin' sucks I'm headin' to Australia With my boyfriend Gotta work on my tan Just a bit so I don't burn Oh god, put your shirt back on Do you ever see the sun? Thinking outside the booth Backyard nuclear bath I don't want no I don't want no I don't want no Stupid girl I don't want no I don't want no I don't want no Chemotherapy [top] Time Machine (from Survival of the Prettiest) If I had a time machine I'd load up all the assholes and send them back to where they belong They could beat each other up and treat women like garbage, millions of years ago where they belong. Then we'd have them out of our hair and we could party If I had a time machine I'd load up all the assholes and send them back to where they belong They could call each other monosyllabic names and talk just like cavemen in movies talk Grunt and groan and grunt and bark and grunt groan bark grunt groan bark grunt Bark grunt fart If I had a time machine I'd load up all the assholes and send them back to where they belong We'd be free to dance and sing and think up new ideas without being scared of being rolled Democracy would finally be a good idea and I would vote If I had a time machine I'd load up all the bullies, racists and jocks, rapists and cocks If I had a time machine I'd load up all the bigots, misogynists, and homophobes. Then we'd have them out of our hair and we could breathe Then we'd have them out of our hair and we could live Then we'd have them out of our hair and we could party [top] White Trash (from Survival of the Prettiest) Why . . . why . . . why do you hate everyone not like you? Why . . . why . . . why do you make everyone be like you? The world would be a lot more fun without you Tonight would be a lot more fun without you My life would be a lot more fun without you Everything would be tons more fun without you Let me be your love slave Love slave Love slave Let me be your love slave White trash dream First we all get shit-faced drunk and load our rifles in the trunk Then we go and pick some chick up and throw her in the big ol' pickup Then we cruise on down main street, looking for a fag to beat Then crash the pickup truck and find us some pigs to fuck. White trash Whieeeeeeeeeeeete trash Why . . . why . . . why don't you have any fun that hurts no one? Why . . . why . . . why can't you sleep with anyone without your gun? The world would be a lot more fun without you Tonight would be a lot more fun without you My life would be a lot more fun without you Everything would be tons more fun without you Let me see your big gun Big gun Big gun Let me put your big gun Up my nose? First we read Alberta Report and beat our wives just for sport Then we go and pick some chick up and throw her in the big ol pickup Shooting cans cuz it's so fun, macho with a big ol' gun Rape your sister till she blue cuz there's nothing else to do. White trash Whieeeeeeeeeeeete trash Why . . . why . . . why do you fight everyone? Are you afraid? Why . . . why . . . why do you hide from the sun in a cave? The world would be a lot more fun without you Tonight would be a lot more fun without you My life would be a lot more fun without you Everything would be tons more fun without you Hey you homophobic Racist Sexist Watcha gonna do in The nineties? White trash rules! [top] |
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