The Victorians were so repressed that they put skirts over the supports under pianos because the idea of a "naked" piano leg was too scandalous. How weird.

An entrepreneur in St. Albert is now planning to open an adult novelty store, much to the chagrin of at least on neighbour in the Riel Business Park. But what's more shameful here? A love boutique or puritanical social engineering?

I used to believe that St. Albertans were intent only on preventing young people from having fun. Now it is evident that maybe some people don't want anyone at all to have a good time. They have reasons like "You don't have to do dirty things to have fun." But leaving aside the dubious definition of "dirty," our society was built on the right to have as much dirt in our activities as we choose. Some jerk is always saying he has the right to act like a jerk because "it's a free country."

But is it?

Organized group attempts to control the lives of others have been known historically as Communism, Fascism, censorship, and oppression. They have all resulted in violence. People around here seem too busy being prudes to consider learning anything from history.

A face set rigidly in any pseudo-pleasant expression is usually hiding something quite different underneath. Victorian hyper-repression resulted in increased hidden deviant activities. Writer Oscar Wilde was executed as a scapegoat to purge society of its "improper" ills. Now consider the reason for St. Albert's drug problem. That's right, it's repression. Nobody can openly have fun, so the illicit "fun" that nobody knows about thrives like a cancer until it explodes harmfully because nobody would acknowledge it.

If a community is going to be controlled, individual people must be controlled. The fact is that people are different. A community must choose whether to embrace that or suppress it. If difference is suppressed, it does not go away, it just goes underground, where it can't be controlled. Then, when difference is seen, it is attacked and the hypocritical community pats itself on the back for destroying the evil demon that invaded their perfectly sculpted little club.

Are people afraid that this adult store will teach young people wrong values and ideas? What's the right idea? That life gets boring after marriage? How do long do parents tell their children that they were delivered by a stork? It is really no wonder that such a fuss has been made about leash laws in the city. Walking the dog is the most fun can have without someone calling the police or starting up a petition. Feel like getting kinky? Letting your hair down? Kicking off your shoes? Well, you had better go walk the dog to let that steam off safely.

Paranoia is bred entirely of ignorance. Does anyone truly believe that a love boutique in an industrial park will cause an increase in crime? Is the criminal element innately attracted to edible underwear? Does massage oil cause well-bred suburban teens to turn to a life of vandalism and rage? No, because such adult merchandise is already available at up to five local stores (depending on the length of your piano-leg skirts), and everyone here is perfect.

I'm going to walk my dog.