Ah, springtime is here, and graduation is well nigh. Time for self-scrutiny, for grads to evaluate their lives. It's also time to celebrate and party, and unfortunately, more often than not, this means alcohol.

Of course, alcohol is not only a grad-time phenomenon; it is undeniably a part of our lives year-round. But what better time to discuss it than at this exctitng time of change and self-discovery?

My friends and I had a beautiful, innocent adolescence. Our parents didn't mind leaving us home weekends; they knew we enjoyed the simple pleasures of pop, chips, and movies. We didn't smoke, drink, or do drugs. We got so much pleasure out of each other's company, laughing, running, playing, singing, and all the other things we did that we never even thought about stealing from our parents and getting wasted.

(Sure, once in a while my mom thought I was at a buddy's place when six of us were in fact running around in Leduc, but we weren't being terribly bad.)

We had a wonderful time all through junior and senior high. We were, in fact, what some people call "geeks". We weren't all honour students and none of us wore pocket protectors or jeans 8" too short, but we didn't get perverse pleasure out of thumbing our noses at our parents advice, breaking the law, or messing ourselves up, no matter how "cool" the "normal" people said it was. We stayed young as long as we could.

That kind of clean lifestyle is scorned by young people today as "inexperienced" and "naive", but we really felt no need to impress anyone but ourselves. Hey, I'd rather stay "naïve" and get an education and a career and see the world than sit around in High School for years and years gaining "experience" with booze and drugs. Besides, drinking and smoking steals away your youth and just makes you corrupt and disillusioned, not mature. In the words of a TV commercial: "Growing up does not equal growing old." No, I am infinitely glad I had a clean, innocent time with all my friends.

Don't get me wrong, I hate people who preach, especially about "morality". Alcohol is not a moral issue. Intoxication is not a sin. No, the problem is that, 9 times out of 10, it's just stupid.

If you drink at your grad, do it intelligently. There's nothing glamorous about not remembering anything from your "night to remember". The fact is, drinking is not "having a life", it's a substitute for a life. People who truly have a life, such as a family, a successful career, regular athletic events, fulfilling hobbies, or anything that is actually constructive almost never get drunk. Drunkenness means something to people who have nothing else meaningful in their lives. drinking gives personality to people without personality. Insecure people drink.

Drunks look and sound idiotic. They do moronic things and keep getting drunk, despite always being ashamed of themselves later. I've had to get the interior of my car cleaned one too many times because of taxiing a drunk, and received absolutely no recompense. Also, rooms and distances get larger under the influence, which means that people get more isolated, and, in fact, less social. And these aren't the serious things alcohol does.

Alcohol has caused my loved ones to hurt me horribly. Alcoholism has plagued people very, very close to me. Alcohol is related to a substantial percentage of crimes. People think they're "okay to drive" because their reflexes aren't that slowed. Then people die.

I've done my time drinking, smoking, etc. I know what it's about. It was fun, half the time. But I would have enjoyed myself sober, and saved my money, health, and behaviour as well.

Not drinking does not make me repressed, conservative, prudish, boring, or a mama's boy. Considering the total control exerted by breweries over the lives of young people, it makes me quite radical (not to mention confident, healthy, happy, and at peace). When everyone is forking over their lives and money for a little liver-trashing "rebellion", I'm going my own way, having a lot of fun doing things that really matter. So for your grad this year, show the world that it can look forward to more exciting contributions from you than stumbling around laughing at things that aren't funny.